Frequently Asked Questions:
What is the best way to contact you?
BEST OPTION: Use my web scheduler to secure your appointment without waiting for a response.
TEXTING is the NEXT BEST OPTION. I will respond when available.
205.259.9835
PHONE CALLS and EMAILS are undesirable. I cannot take or return phone calls with my schedule and emails are randomly marked spam and go overlooked at the WORST times.
What is Your preferred method of Payment?
Cash is preferred when possible.
I also accept personal checks made out to my name.
Venmo payments
Credit/debit card payments
Apple/Android pay.
Serota Massage Therapy Gift Certificates
It’s important to note that I do not have any arrangements with any third party affiliates. I do not take Salon Pass and am not on Groupon. I only deal directly and if anyone sold you services under the impression that I would accept it, get your money back. You have been defrauded.
Do you accept HSA Payments?
While some health savings accounts will allow balance charges for massage therapy services, I have had several problems occur at a later date when dealing with these agencies. While payments will be accepted initially, I have received notifications 1 to 3 months after the service that part of the payment has been reported as fraud and extracted from my account. The claim will be an unusual amount falling short of the service fee and there isn’t an explanation as to why this precise dollar and change was considered fraud as opposed to the full transaction and is most likely the HSA using its weight to pad its final net income by beating up on small business providers who do not have the ability to push back. This leads to awkward client interactions, as they will not be notified of the actions of their HSA companies. So no, I will not accept HSA payments.
cancellation policy
PLEASE TEXT ME if you will not be attending your appointment. I only apply a cancellation fee of half the cost of your booked service only if cancellation is made within THREE HOURS of your appointment time (making it very hard allow another to fill it). If you fail to cancel and do not attend the session, I apply a "NO SHOW" FEE of the full price of the reservation you booked. Only those who pay these fees will be welcomed to seek my services again in the future.
I make canceling very easy. Please respect my time, my ability to make a living through filling these appointments, and the desire of others who would take your place if you vacated the reservation.
Do you sell service packages?
No. I have tried selling packages before and they proved very problematic.
Do you provide late appointments for those who are only available after hours?
No. I have been approached countless times by those hoping that I am available and on standby at 12:00AM, 2:00AM, or at their maximum convenience. I am not. Scheduled office hours only. My scheduling hours are very broad and allow for 47 hours of availability as well as same day booking. I work Saturdays too.
Do you do outcalls?
No. In office appointments only.
I do not travel to residences.
I do not travel to hotel rooms.
If I am CLOSED, whether it is my off day or after my posted hours, this does not mean that I am suddenly free and available for outcalls. (Closed means closed for business.)
answers to less-than-appropriate questions that I get all too often:
Under Alabama Law:
Ala. Code § § 13A-12-120, 13A-12-121:
A person commits the crime of prostitution in Alabama by participating in any sex act or sexual contact in exchange for money or anything else of value. Both sellers and buyers of sex can be prosecuted under Alabama’s laws.
Section 13A-12-121(b): No person shall solicit, compel, or coerce any person to have sexual intercourse or participate in any natural or unnatural sexual act, deviate sexual intercourse, or sexual contact for monetary consideration or other thing of marketable value.
Someone who asks to buy sex or agrees to pay for sex could be prosecuted for prostitution, even if the sex act never takes place.
That being said…
Can I be massaged fully nude? Without drapes?
No. Under Alabama’s Massage Laws, the genitals, the gluteal cleft, and the female breast tissue must be draped throughout the entirety of the session.
But… I am really hot natured!
We can minimize draping, but essential areas will remain covered.
But… I am not self conscious and I don’t care if you see me.
That changes nothing in the law.
But… we’re both men here and it’s nothing that you don’t have.
And I don’t question that, nor does it need to be proven by evidence. The law, people…
But… I’m claustrophobic!
I’m finding it difficult to believe that a loose, thin sheet is somehow MORE restrictive than the clothes you wore to my office. Just saying.
Can you send me a picture of you before I decide whether or not to book? Maybe a Shirtless one? In underwear?
No. This is not that type of business and I am already thinking that you probably will not be satisfied with my therapeutic work…
Will you take your socks off?
No. There is no sexual loophole for those people who may possess foot fetishes. I will reframe from any act that I believe will sexually arouse any of my clients.
Will you take your shirt/Clothes off during the session?
No. I will remain clothed throughout the entirety of your session. All of it, even if it gets really hot in the room and you become inordinately concerned with my personal comfort…
Do you work on Men?
Yes… I work on humans, in general.
What type of massages do you offer for men? Do you provide “male massages”?
Yes! I offer the very same services that I offer to my female clients. These are the same services that are plainly displayed on my service menu. The same.
I DO NOT provide (nor does Alabama Law allow for) prostate or penile massage of any variety. You should seek a doctor for medical therapy applications or less than legitimate “alternative providers” for recreational applications of your choosing. I won’t be among them.
Maybe you can even try dating.
Are there any sensual aspects to the massage?
No services are intended to sexually arouse clients or to purposefully stimulate sexual pleasure in any way. It’s not the goal of my therapeutic approach and it’s not a path that will be traveled by this therapist.
Does it matter if I’m gay? or Bi?
It’s none of my business who my clients are or are not engaging with in their personal lives and I provide legitimate therapy to ALL PEOPLE who want corrective healing services.
However, this question is often asked as a lead in to source further information as to whether I am a potential sexual option… I AM NOT. Under no circumstance are we going to have sex.
Do you offer/perform/do happy endings? Or give a really good massage with just a little Sensual touch?
No. There are no sexual aspects or services of any kind provided by Bernard Serota LMT or at the licensed business establishment of Serota Massage Therapy. There are no circumstances, passwords, specific dollar amounts, dark rituals, or magical incantations that would or could change that fact. It will never happen. Let the dream die and look elsewhere.
GENERAL SERVICE POLICY
I provide professional therapeutic massage and bodywork services to improve the health, wellness, and overall physical condition of my clients. The overall goal for all services provided are health oriented in general. I do not discriminate against gender, race, ethnic background, religious or political affiliations, or sexual orientation. But I do:
Discriminate against providing certain therapeutic applications depending on specific medical conditions that a client may disclose. Some services may be inappropriate or dangerous, require alteration of service type or service conditions, or the service session may be completely denied before exacerbating existing medical conditions.
Discriminate against age. Underaged minors must be accompanied by a legal guardian. Please be willing to remain throughout the entirety of the session, preferably sitting in my office as the session is performed.
Discriminate against abusive clients. I will not tolerate clients who are verbally abusive, insulting, deriding, condescending, deceptive, excessively controlling, and/or manipulative. I reserve the right to refuse services to anyone for any reason at any time at my full discretion.
Discriminate against illegal behavior, sexual harassment, sexual advancements, or any attempts to obtain from my person any illegal sexual activity. No "sensual" or sexual services are provided of any kind. All Alabama laws governing massage therapy being followed in their entirety. No exceptions. Clients who exhibit behaviors that disrespect my professional boundaries risk confrontation, immediate session termination, permanent service restriction, police involvement, filing an incident/criminal report with the state, and/or potential criminal charges.
Gift certificate policy
For PURCHASED Gift Certificates: Gift Certificates will expire one year from the Purchase date. Gift certificate sales are non-refundable. In the event that a gift certificate was not used by the recipient, Serota Massage Therapy allows the buyer to use the monetary value of the unused/expired certificate towards a service during the first two months following the expiration date. Responsibility for using that opportunity is on the certificate buyer (who may contact Serota Massage Therapy anytime to inquire if their gift was used). After that period, expiration is considered to be final. That being said, please respect the intent of the generous loved one who gifted this service to you... USE IT!!!
For Donated Gift Certificates: Gift Certificates will expire on the date listed on the certificate, usually in a short window of a few months following a charitable event to which the certificate was donated. These certificates have a monetary value of ZERO dollars, cannot be transferred to any other service, and cannot be used by the representatives/employees of the respective charities to which they were donated (as they have been repeatedly abused in the past).